Minhaj Sisters UK has organised a 4-week course titled ‘Al-Nasiha – Strengthening the Family Unit’ with Dr Ghazala Hassan Qadri. In the final week, people were asked to send in their questions for Dr Ghazala on marriage, family life and any problems or challenges they may be experiencing which would be answered in two parts.
Question 1: How to approach marriage?
Dr Ghazala advised that the parents, elders, or guardians are the ones that can look out for your interest to guide you and help you find a partner. This is due to the fact that families can enquire about the prospective partner and can ask questions directly or ask family and friends to get a general idea of the individuals personality. So, someone who is married, has a good judge of character, and has experience can ensure that you will get married to someone who suits you and your personality.
Question 2: Advice for youngsters on marriage?
In any sort of formal meeting, it may not be possible to really understand an individual’s personality immediately or experience love at first sight. Which is why it is important that it is up to the parents or guardians to find out more about the individual in more detail and get recommendations from others before taking the next step. However, if you meet someone yourself, Dr Ghazala advised that the family should get involved as soon as possible on both sides. This would mean that both individuals are serious about this matter and both families can meet each other and meet the potential suitor to decide whether the two are suitable for one another. Dr Ghazala also highlighted that the best form of protection is Haya, which is a combination of attributes of modesty, shyness, self-respect, honour, and humility. These attributes prevent us from doing something wrong and we are not tempted to go beyond the limits of the Quran and Sunnah.
Question 3: What advice do you have for women who are against marriage and having children?
Dr Ghazala advised to follow the Quran and Sunnah. Marriage is a highly recommended act; it is the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (PBUH). Not only does it provide companionship, but it also protects your modesty and chastity. Marriage in Islam is very important in Islam as you are considered to have completed half your Deen by doing so. Almighty Allah is our Creator who knows what is best for us, so we should really listen to what He has commanded rather than what we want and what pleases us.
Question 4: Advice on Aqeeda and marriage?
There is no one right answer as every case is different. Ideally, Dr Ghazala highlighted that you should try to marry someone that has the correct Aqeeda as yourself. However, the importance lies in asking the prospective spouse about the fundamentals of the faith. For example, asking them what they think of a Muslims relationship with the Holy Prophet (PBUH). It is also a good idea to look into their background, they may be flexible on the matter and be open to change. So, the families can have discussions on this matter with one another.
Question 5: Advice on getting married while studying?
Dr Ghazala advised that if you are young and studying, then it is better to complete your studies and getting your degree etc. If you marry while studying, it can be difficult to sustain your studies with the added responsibility of a spouse, children, and extended family. Dr Ghazala also expressed that we live in an ageist society. As a society, we should be more understanding and tolerant to each other. It is essential we look less at appearance and age and look beyond that. We should look at their character and morals, how they treat their elders and those around them, or what role does Islam play in their life. It is important to use your common sense and be practical.